Although, this moment lies almost six years in the past I can still remember that day the like it was yesterday.
It didn’t take long for me to set up the appointment for the Avonex nurse to come see me. The nurse came into our house and showed me how I am supposed to clean my hands, set up the clean area so that I can mix my Avonex – yes, during my first couple of years I didn’t have the pleasure of receiving an already filled syringe, clean the injection side and put the long needle into my leg. I had to withdraw 1.0 ml of normal saline and mix it with the white tablet in the other bottle, gently swirl the vial without making bubbles, looking wether the liquid turned yellow or stayed nice and clear before filling up the needle that should soon get in contact with my leg. My problem wasn’t really the mixing of the drug. My problem was that long needle. How should I ever jam that thing into my muscle? The Avonex nurse showed me via an orange how to stick the needle into the orange skin. Again, I don’t mind sticking an orange skin. An orange skin can’t feel pain. But I can!
So there we were. The Avonex nurse, my friend, her husband and I – and of course my friend the needle. I was holding it gently, trying to keep it from not getting dirty while holding it as far away from my leg as possible. I also remember that I kept shaking my leg to relax the muscle. Of course, as soon as I stopped touching that leg the muscle got very tense very quick. After a few minutes I had them all counting. “One, two, three….. ok one, two, three… ok one, two, three.” It took maybe 5 to 10 minutes to finally push the needle into my muscle. The nurse said I was fast and that I did a good job. A few minutes later she was gone. I was alone with my friends and the upcoming side effects.
But please, don’t let those side effects scare you. They will get better over time and you will find a way to deal with them. The hardest thing for you to do is overcoming your fear of needles. Everybody has this fear. You are not alone. But there will come the time, trust me, when you will get that medicine working within a minute in your body. And even if the Avonex side effects will make you feel bad, and there is a big chance you will feel that way, envision a big battle between the good Avonex soldiers fighting against the bad and ugly Multiple Sclerosis insurgents. When I was a little girl I read a children’s book about a girl fighting cancer. And part of her therapy was to draw a picture how she envisioned the cancer treatment and she created a military type picture and each time she felt sick to the stomach due to her chemotherapy she was holding that picture in her hand, thinking that this time the chemo will win. I still keep getting back the thought about this book, each Friday I am right there with that little girl thinking about the great battle inside my body. I wish I could remember the title of that little book.I am doing very well, and only had one small attack 2 years after my first attack. I didn’t have another attack for almost 4 years. I know that the day I started taking Avonex was the day that would have the greatest impact on my life. That second attack was caused by me not taking the medicine. Yes, I stopped taking it because of those side effects. Don’t make that same mistake. Trust me, having a little bit of side effects is so much better than risking another attack.And if you want to know how I got through these first Avonex nights check out Avonex CDs – my personal key to success.
