Events came to be almost on a daily basis. One day I had to go to one doctor who sent me to another doctor who wanted to try something else out. The day of my first MRI was rather scary because I knew that images can show much more than what my body had experienced. I would lie if I would say that I was calm going into my first MRI.
But let me start a few days earlier. Knowing that I will see some images of my not so pretty brain was one thing, but when I made the arrangements to get those visuals done I was shocked, as I was found out that I need to pay 30% of the cost up front, as I didn’t have insurance at that point of time. So in order to get this diagnostic test done I had to come up with around $600, which I had to borrow from friends. Once I was able to hold $600 in my hands ( I don’t think that I ever had so much cash in my hands before) I was able to hand it over to the place who would tell me what is wrong with me.
The machine looked kind of scary. I never thought that I was claustrophobic but once I went into that tunnel and was canceled out from the world I started to get very scared. Luckily, I had my friend with me, who went through that rough time with me, who was showing me that she was there for me by holding my food. This was the only body part that was reachable. As I had to lay completely still I had no way of doing something for that long procedure. And the banging noise made me more and more nervous. Each bang raised my nervous level higher and higher. I knew that nothing bad would happen to me during the procedure. But I was just scared to find out about the extend of my MS and what kind of damage Multiple Sclerosis had already to my brain. I guess because I didn’t have enough money the clinic decided not to take images of my spine. I really didn’t care much of those images anyway. To me images of the spine or scarier than images of the brain. When I think about lesions in the spine I think about bladder problems and walking difficulties. And neither symptom is located on top of my MS wish list.
The banging stopped after maybe 20 minutes. I can’t tell how much time I actually spend in the MRI tunnel. But once I was out and could get dressed I felt better. The noise had stopped and my ears could adjust to some normal sounds again. But this happy feeling didn’t last for long as I knew I had to take my results and bring them to my neurologist, so that he can evaluate the results. I was only 2 more hours away from knowing things I never wanted to know in my life. Two longs hours which we spend in a restaurant to get our minds off of what was about to happen. But there is no way to get your mind off. No matter which discussion we started. It always ended with Multiple Sclerosis.
When it was time to hand my doctor the images he took them and left the room. I thought this was nice as he could take a look and make sure to find good words to present the results in a way that make sense and don’t disturb me too much. I guess he saw very good images, compared to his other patients. I don’t seem to have many lesions and little lesions are always good.
So in a way my experience with the MRI tunnel wasn’t as bad as it could have been. The tunnel won’t hurt you. It is only a mental thing. And still, each time I have to look into the inside of the MRI tunnel, I am getting scared. Scared of what those images will prove.
kfabrizio said,
February 1, 2008 @ 11:30 am
It’s terrific that you don’t have many lesions! I’m so excited for you. Did they share with you where the lesions are located? remember, it’s not always about the number, it’s more about the locations. I have them all over the place on my brain and one on my spine. The various locations each cause different symptoms. The MRI experience gets better with practice (smile).
Kim
Cranius said,
February 1, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
Your description of your claustrofobic MRI experience is so very well described. The combination of tunnel with a diameter of 60cm, the loud banging noises, having no idea about time and the uncertainty about the outcome are very frightening. I know now that by keeping my eyes shut I can better deal with the ordeal.
Today I had my first fMRI where you have to keep your eyes open to perform tasks projected on a screen. It adds a new dimension to the experience. In case the nurse or operator is a person you trust and you have a person with you who touches your toes or feet that helps a lot. It is a mental thing indeed. For some a piece of cake for others a serious ordeal.
Thanks for your post and I hope things will continue to go well for you.
brauchi said,
February 1, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
Here is a question. How could an almost blind person like me look at a screen without my glasses to perform certain tasks?
Just yesterday I banged my head in the attic and lost my glasses. And it took me almost 20 minutes to find them by carefully moving my heads forward. I didn’t want to break them. Of course, after finally finding them, I saw that they had to be fixed anyway.
What kind of tasks did you have to perform? It is not that you can do much in that small tunnel…
Cranius said,
February 1, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
Please note that you can keep your eyes closed in MRI, just in case of fMRI you need to perform tasks with open eyes. Anyway, to answer your questions: I had to perform the following tests.
Test #1 was to ‘think’ words starting with the letter projected on a screen outside the MRI tunnel. After a few letters (4-5) a little star appeared, the sign that I was not allowed to think about words but instead of a walk on the beach. Then a similar sequence started and this was repeated for about 10-15 minutes.
Test #2 was to repeatedly bend and straighten the fingers of my right hand while I was seeing the word ‘Action’ projected on the screen and to stop doing so when the word ‘Rest’ appeared. This sequence was to be performed for about 6 minutes for each hand and each foot.
Prior to the tests I was asked whether or not I needed a pear of reading specs (I didn’t). I am quite sure though that they will prepare a pair of plastic specs for those that really need them. Plastic is fine in (f)MRI.
Hope all this helps.
brauchi said,
February 1, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
Good. How did you do all of this while being scared?
Thank you so much for this description. I have never heard about an (f)MRI before. It sounds like a very interesting procedure which could be actually fun if it wouldn’t be for a serious test.
I hope your results came back ok.
fMRI: The real thing « Time Pressure said,
February 1, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
[...] was just as Andrea wrote in her blog (Newly Diagnosed MS) with the big difference of course that I was told to keep my eyes open to be able to read the [...]
Cranius said,
February 1, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
Performing these tasks actually helps. I expect the results of today’s test around the 19th of February. Pls. refer to my blog cranius.wordpress.com for more details.
Stay safe, Cranius